She could have been one of the top ranking ewes in the flock. This ewe had great maternal instincts and produced enough milk to compete with a Holstein cow. She always had two large healthy twin lambs that we labeled “growers!” But she had one characteristic flaw. She was a controlling and overprotective. In fact, as a mother she dominated her young lambs. Because she produced so much milk, she constantly badgered her lambs to nurse constantly. If they laid down to rest and sleep off a full tummy of milk, she would push them and paw them to get back up. The freshly born lambs could not possibly consume all of her milk and were sleep deprevated. They had no rest with such a dominant mother. She would not let them leave her side. When the other ewes would roam outside with their lambs, she could be found in the corner of the barn with her lambs at her side.
Three years in a row, she pawed her lambs so much she broke their front legs and ribs. We had to cast the lambs legs and place her in a head stanchion. Next to her side but safe from her deadly feet, her lambs could heal from the injuries. Her last year with our flock before she was culled, she spent her entire spring in the head stanchion nursing numerous lambs. She became our “bum lamb” milk supply. Sadly, one of her lambs never recovered from the broken ribs.
Have you ever thought about dominance and control? We see it displayed in sheep but I have also observed it in God’s kingdom. All of us deal with control issues but some of us have a deep need to control others. It is manifested in many different ways but it always causes harm. It seems to be passed form generation to generation. All of life is affected, but it expresses itself in marriage and family relationships most clearly. It can creep into the workplace and is often found in church congregations and leadership circles. After all, who doesn’t want to be in control? But is it good or bad?
I think a person being controlled by someone else has two options. They either stand up and push back against the control and demand respect and space. This often leads to conflict and separation in the relationship. If this remains over time, the relationship is severely harmed or destroyed. The second option is to submit to the control. Over time, the person who submits, pushes aside their will and thinking and gives up standing against the controller. This leads to an eventual drain identity and self respect. It is impossible to find one’s true self under the domination of a controller. Words like whimpy, mush ball, and wet dishrag describe a person who submits until they do not know what they are anymore. Life and identity slowly drains away one occurrence at a time.
This begs the question. Man is imperfect and we know we are flawed by nature. Is God a controlling God? He sure could be and he has every right to be. He is God and there is none like HIM! He has the right to control our very being and existence because He created it. He can snuff it out with a thought. He could decide the very next word that comes from our mouth if He desired. Does the Father God revealed in the Bible evoke control over his created people? If so, how and when? Jesus surrendered his life’s control to the Father when he lived on this earth. Jesus asked his followers to surrender their lives to his Lordship by invitation. I see so many places where God invites us to submit to His control in our lives. But I do not see dominance and forced control. No one is forced to become a child of God or else.
God has never forced His way into my life, even though He has every right to do so. If a holy, just, and righteous God can allow me my identity, my choices, and my will without dominating me, isn’t that what He wants me to be to others. If God forced me into His mold, I would be a robot under the control of a divine powerful being. Do not get me wrong, God is in control. Hallelujah! But I am fascinated with how such a powerful God respects and treats me as his child. He does not paw me constantly and say “get up” for the purpose of control and dominance. (I admit, I occasionally need some pawing for my own good!)
I think control issues invaded the human race at the fall. One of the biggest prices of the fall and the original sin of mankind has been control and dominance. It has invaded the DNA of all of us. Left unchecked, this leads to abuse, violence and destroyed relationships. (How about Cain’s story?)
What do I do with this control problem? How do I deal with it? Admit it, (it is sinful), let God dig into my life to show me why there is a need for control. Then I need to get help in changing it. Control is like an addiction. It provides for some need in our life. Giving up control requires me to be vulnerable to God and others. It means letting the outcome rest in the hands of others and God. It means recognizing I have a God who loves me and gives me space to be true to myself. It means I can ask for help but ultimately, I am responsible for my life alone. I can have relationships where I can love deeply and care without limit without controlling.
What a beautiful picture it is when a free person willingly submits to God and others with no pretense or substance of control or dominance. It looks like a “God” picture, I think!
Matthew 7:12 Do for others what you would like them to do for you. This is a summary of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.
John 13:14,15 And since I, the Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you.
Romans 12:9,10 Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.
